The understanding I gained from this writing by Barbara Decker is immeasurable!! I believe her words will be eye openers for you as well
“The Lord showed me a forest inside myself. I was standing in a clearing facing it. I realized that behind some of the trees were lurking evil spirits. I was standing in a large circle of light. I asked the Lord to bring the spirits out to be exposed. A large hand reached behind a tree and placed a spirit in front of me on the right. The hand was like a human hand picking up a kitten by the nape of the neck. I asked the Lord what the name of the spirit was and the Lord said, “Self-Righteousness.” As soon as He said it, I recognized it in my life. I admitted it, repented and denounced it, but I could still see it standing there. I asked the Lord to show me the next one. The hand placed another one in front of me to the left. The Lord said this one was “Pride”, so recognizing it in my life, I repented and denounced it.
The next spirit the hand brought forth was placed behind “Pride.” The lord said the spirit was “Willful Ignorance.” I repented and denounced it. The hand brought forth one more spirit and placed it behind “Self-Righteousness.” The lord said this was “Love of Unrighteousness.” I did not recognize this one in my life, but I repented and denounced it anyway. As they were standing inside the circle of light with me I thanked the Lord for placing these spirits before me and exposing them, but the Lord said the hand that brought the spirits into the light was my own hand, for I had desired them to be exposed. He would not have reached into my own forest himself.
The Lord caused my spirit to ask Him to show me the spirits as they really looked. The first one, “Self-Righteousness” was a pile of dirty rags. The second one, “Pride” was exposed as a huge, dingy white inflated balloon. The weight of this balloon was so ugly and dirty, I didn’t know how I even recognized it as white. The Lord said that “Pride” had chosen white because it signifies Righteousness.
The next spirit, “Willful Ignorance” was shown to me as a large person sitting on a tree stump with her head lowered and her eyes cast to the ground. Her elbow was on her knee with her hand across her forehead shielding her eyes. The Lord said this position was assumed to keep her from seeing or hearing God’s will, thinking she was deceiving Him so she would not have to obey. I asked the Lord to show me the next spirit and I saw nothing until I had asked three times. When I saw it, I saw it as a Siamese twin growing on the side of “Willful Ignorance”. It looked like a malformed embryo having no eyes and a mouth like a large insect. This “embryo” was just hanging lifeless like a big lump on the side of “Willful Ignorance”. He told me that was why I had not recognized this “Love of Unrighteousness” in my life, because it was Just beginning to form, stemming from willful ignorance.
Thinking the Lord was finished, I got up to share this with my Mother” but the Lord said, “Let me show you something else.” I sat back down and my eyes went to “Love for Unrighteousness”. All of a sudden it grew and enveloped “Willful Ignorance”, “Pride”, and “Self-Righteousness.” It grew rapidly and was soon looming far above the forest and far above me. The Lord said if it had been neglected and not exposed, it would have grown to these proportions and destroyed my life because I would never have recognized it for what it was because of these other spirits. The Lord said I would have known for sure there was a great giant in my life, but I would in no way recognize him. The very things he absorbed would hinder me from seeing what he was.
I asked the Lord why they didn’t disappear when I denounced them and He said they still had some workings in me, but I would recognize them immediately. All their work would have to be done in this light they were standing in before me and I could not be deceived by them. I have been seeking out the spirits because the Lord had shown me the day before a thing in the back of my mind that I was trying to avoid facing so I would not have to obey him. I was thinking it wasn’t a big enough fault to matter much. He showed it to me as a shadow lurking behind myself and when I would turn around to see it it would disappear behind a tree in my forest. I had not wanted to deal with this “little” thing because I derived pleasure from it. But I praise the Lord that He showed me how terribly severe the results of such a seemingly “little thing” could have been and for showing me how far reaching the roots of the “small” things can be. The lord said the name of the forest was “The Forest of My Desires” and that that was why he would not enter it. He lets us have our own desires.