“ How can my motives change Lord? How can they become pure to desire only your will,… to want to know you and to please you for your delight alone, not for my own pleasure and delight? How can I come into a state of rest to wait upon you?”
“ You are dependent upon Me to initiate all moves. It is good to know this for it is the first step. Now expect! I delight in your expectation and I shall not disappoint you for it is My delight to fill my children. Yes, expect and receive. It is already done in the spirit realm.”
This came after:
The Lord asked:“ Do you have faith, my dear?”
“”No, I do not!” I answered sullenly. “ My eyes are dim and I cannot find the way. I have no one to lead me.”
A flicker of the tiniest star in my heart moved and was felt despite my words. A seed had been planted there by the Almighty… The All-Knowing-One. It was and is His faith and I became aware of it.
“ How can I make it grow?” I thought.“
“ You cannot in your self” came the quick reply. “You have one needful thing to do, like Mary who knelt at the feet of Jesus – Beholding him you will be changed…. Beholding Him you shall be supplied with the faith you need.”
While I knew these words to be true, unbelief was like a dark hole in my heart residing next to the flickering star. I cried out: “ I have forgotten how to behold you my Lord!” The lyrics of a song immediately came to mind: “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face and the things of the earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace.”
“I need your grace to behold You my Lord… I cannot even do this without Your help,” I cried.
“Examine your motives my child. Is it so that you can feel good? Is it so that your life can run smoothly and that you can understand everything? Yes, I have called you to seek and get understanding, but faith is not understanding. You must realize that I give understanding to undergird faith, not to replace it. The faith of a little child is to be content with what is given… A child does not try to analyze everything… to dissect what is impossible to dissect. There is a pride in “knowing” that is not of me. Lucifer fell from his high and lofty place because of this. Which will you choose – knowledge or intimacy?
You cannot come to me unless I draw you. You are aware of this now. Be like Peter and beckon me to come… Not in a demand, but in a plea and if you should find that little bit of faith that you have does not sustain you… is not yet sufficient for you to walk on water yet, know that I shall sustain you as I did Peter, and yay, there shall be a day that you shall walk on water, even with a faith coming forth that shall move more than your own mountains, but the mountains that stand in the way of nations coming forth in my goodness and power. This is the heritage of my Saints – my Beloved – even you my little one!”