“New moon” came first thing in my mind this morning. I have been looking to God for answers concerning the balance between being like a little child and being like an ancient one filled with wisdom.
One dear to me has often told me: I just want you to be happy!” … in other words “Just be like a little child!”… but there I am wrestling with an angel determined to know the nature of what I’m dealing with. I am like a pearl being formed with a lot of irritation taking place inside me and outside of me…. So it seems to always “Be happy!” is an unattainable goal for me.
I have joy in the knowing I am being reformed in the middle of an upheaval in my thinking… Yes, joy in becoming TRANSformed (going THROUGH something) into His likeness. I have joy in the relationships God has given to me but I also have tribulation in them… I think of Jesus saying:“Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.”Matthew 10: 34-36
He comes to change us and uses each of us to do it, eh? I don’t know about you, but my little world is often not happy. I definitely don’t have peace when a sword is thrashing, whipping through something in me that needs to be changed.
Sigh! A new moon to me means a new reflection coming in the darkness of my understanding that will gradually become a full understanding… it represents the beginning of a development in new thinking… There is a difference between it and the sun which is a given revelation in a moment that is very clear. We are HAPPY when we see the sun come out. When we are in the darkness of understanding with little light, being happy is not the emotion we experience… a woman travailing to give birth is NOT happy in THAT moment.
So much of the time I feel like a woman travailing to give birth to triplets or quadruplets! Yikes‼️